i need an iv and a liver transplant
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
