Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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