Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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