I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize