i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize