Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i think my cat just said my name.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
