Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
