You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
