oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Holy shit dude........stairs
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