Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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