p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
