Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
