I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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