So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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