i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We have started to decorate penises.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
