you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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