Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
