I wish I could teleport
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize