Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
