Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
