i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize