Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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