If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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