Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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