I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
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Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
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I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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