Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
