I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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