You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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