So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
