Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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