I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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