I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
