There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
