My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
