I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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