My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
