Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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