Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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