She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
