Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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