i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
