It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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