You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
