Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
