Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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