i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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