Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
