It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That's intense
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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