I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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