This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need a beard to bite.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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