I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
