Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
