I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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