She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
