I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
bring money and cleavage
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
