She is in my trunk
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
