hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
