Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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