My balls are so social today.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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